Clean Humor: Just For Fun: SOLVING AMERICA'S DRUG PROBLEM, THE ISRAELI WAY

JUST FOR FUN

SOLVING AMERICA'S DRUG PROBLEM, THE ISRAELI WAY

ALAN THE PAINTER

Still basking in the warm glow of success after the Oslo land for peace process which has finally brought much needed tranquility to the middle east, Shimon Peres & Yossi Belin have decided to export their ground breaking efforts in an attempt to solve another of the world's seeming insolvable problems--the American war on drugs. This should garner these forward thinking Israelis yet another Nobel Prize.

Unbeknownst to the American government, and not withstanding their own denials, the Peres/Belin team has indeed been meeting secretly with the notorious Bloods and Crips gangs. The Bloods and Crips have held long-standing gripes about the many injustices heaped on them by the American system. Among the many are the following:
1) The heavy police presence in their neighborhoods which they see as
a provocation.

2) Their constant arrest and incarceration for conducting their "legitimate business activities."

3) Their having to go through customs check on their return from Columbia and other South American destinations. All of these checks on their liberty have trampled on their legitimate rights. "Hence," they say, "all the street violence."

The Peres/Belin team sees a way out of this morass. Their plan, which should stop all crime and violence, and has been accepted in principle by the Bloods and Crips calls for the following.

1. Removal of all police from neighborhoods that the gangs call their own.

2. Complete civil and police authority of the neighborhoods that the gangs call their own.

3. A waiver through customs for any of the gang leaders on their return from any South American countries.

4) The supply by the American government of 80,000 machine guns to the street gangs, so they can police themselves.

There have been some murmurs of concern by local police departments that border the gang areas, that the supply of violent street gangs with 80,000 high powered weapons might not be an appropriate solution to this problem. With a wave of his hand, Shimon Peres dismisses these criticisms as the rantings of backwards thinking primitives. The plan is simple, he says, it will be called "guns for peace."

Now thanks to the Peres/Belin plan, many in America's inner cities who have been terrorized by street gangs for decades can finally get a good nights sleep. Just as their "land for peace" deal has brought an end to bloodshed in the promised land, America's streets will now be safe for all; thanks to the indefatigable peace team of Peres/Belin and their "guns for peace" plan.

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